Category: MOTIVATE

Set your own life rules, set your boundaries, set your limits and live up to these. If you set your expectations, your limits and capabilities with others before they set their own – then you should always make them happy as you know how to meet this level. Further to this; you shouldn’t be comparing your life to others either. The only way you’ll get where you want to be is if you live life on your own terms. And you can start by:

Staying out of other people’s business

Staying away from toxic people

Using your gifts to your advantage

Not working for external rewards

Letting your work speak for you

Not holding yourself back

To set some context – I am essentially talking about lifestyle changes and personal dreams. This may be exercise, fitness, health, budgets, careers, your everyday life, routine, habits and so on. 

So what are these 3 simple yet big packing actions? Over the next few days I will be sharing on:

Definition, Discipline and Actual Action

Today I will be talking to you about point 3: Actual Action.

Actual Action

It all comes down to choice. Your dedication to actually take action is defined through your choice – but also the reasoning of why you choose to take action. In most cases, it will be because you want to change.

Being successful is not a necessity but a choice. Most of the things that frustrate us and irritate us are completely self-inflicted. They are standards and goals we set for ourselves and if we don’t achieve them we are disappointed, upset and annoyed!

So, instead of saying things like “I have to finish this work” or “I need to write one chapter of my book before I can go have fun” change it to “I want.” When you empower yourself to make your own choices these jobs and tasks become easier. Here are some examples:

“I want to finish this work before I relax with the family because I know I can then devote my time and attention to them afterward.”

“I want to write one chapter of my book because I enjoy writing and I will be happy if I achieve this.”

While at the same time it comes down to accountability.

Why is it we value other people’s opinion of us more than we value our own?

We let ourselves down regularly but are reluctant to let others down. If you want to take action tell somebody about it, tell someone you respect what you are going to do and ask them to check up on you. At the same time, it can do no harm to try to respect yourself more and deliver on your personal commitments. I have found that proving to myself and being accountable to myself to prove everyone else that I have what it takes, works better than simply telling people I will be better.

To set some context – I am essentially talking about lifestyle changes and personal dreams. This may be exercise, fitness, health, budgets, careers, your everyday life, routine, habits and so on. 

So what are these 3 simple yet big packing actions? Over the next few days I will be sharing on:

Definition, Discipline and Actual Action

Today I will be talking to you about point 2: Discipline.

Discipline

Discipline is what is required to be in place for actually getting your defined change in place. Good self-discipline will encourage and be formed under a framework of routine, structure, and dedication throughout your daily life to enable you to ensure you are doing what you have set out to do. But it is also more than this. It requires willpower and the power to conquer your mindsets to keep on keeping on regardless of the circumstances. As you progress into your change… it will get harder to control your mind, while at the same time it should also get easier as you form a habit and a routine structure in making your change a normal part of your life.

If you haven’t been able to implement ideas in real life on a small-scale, then the chances that you can do something big this week, such as kick a ten-year smoking habit, are pretty small. It can and has been done, but good luck trying. There are exceptions to every rule.

This is where the comparison of self-discipline to the use of a muscle is important, because if you keep trying to tackle the big problems in your life from the get-go, you set yourself up to fail again and again. The more you fail on the big things, the more motivation you lose and the more it looks like the problems are too big to be beaten.

Start developing your self-discipline skills by conquering small problems; if you find yourself drinking excessively and want to handle it, then start your first drink after everyone else has finished their first couple of rounds. It’s a small change, but your success will set you up to succeed in the next stage, which may be cutting out one night of drinking per weekend altogether.

Gradually, the strength of your self-discipline increases and the greater your success will be in tackling problems and implementing new changes.

If you want to create a habit rather than defeat it, it’s a very similar process. For instance, if you find yourself constantly unable to maintain a new email processing system, start by making an end-of-week appointment every week that you force yourself to keep. Process all your messages and clear out your inbox during that session, and continue this until it is second nature. You can then trial it on a more regular basis.

Don’t start out expecting unused muscles to be strong.

I suggest buckling down and finishing up any of the goals you have been working on, while at the same time if you’re already on track, how about go the extra mile. What about extended goals? Push that little further and do better than you planned…

Maybe you didn’t do any goals… that’s OK as you can still move some mountains in the next 74 days and see some exceptional results. Once again, it comes down to how much you want it! Do you want it bad enough to stop being lazy and to take action in making a difference in your life? 74 days could be enough days to get you somewhere you could have never dreamed of being… or at least thought was possible.

Will you take the challenge? Will you dare to make a change, an impact or a new goal to accomplish by the end of the year?

Trust me. It is worth your while.

To set some context – I am essentially talking about lifestyle changes and personal dreams. This may be exercise, fitness, health, budgets, careers, your everyday life, routine, habits and so on. 

So what are these 3 simple yet big packing actions? Over the next few days I will be sharing on:

Definition, Discipline and Actual Action

Today I will be talking to you about point 1: Definition.

Definition

Well if you have even made it this far in reading the blog I am guessing you already have a dream in mind. Maybe you have already kicked off the journey to actuating your dream into something tangible? Or maybe you have something which has been on your mind… Regardless, before you can really kick off your change in lifestyle you need to really understand what you want and this comes through defining what it is. Let’s start small… the biggest and probably the most common lifestyle change would be getting fit or losing weight. So how do you define this? Well, firstly you need to define it enough to know that you are serious about it in the first place and that this and not just another person saying “yep I am going to lose some weight too”. If you are serious – this definition of you losing weight will lead to the discipline and essentially the action you do to make it happen.

For example…

If you are overweight and you want to lose weight – but you don’t have a goal of how much you need to lose, that is fine. I would focus on actually starting in the first place but understanding how you plan to do it. The common one today is a sugar-free approach (as seen in ‘That Sugar Film‘). So when defining this you are saying I will be on a sugar-free diet. But you must understand the parameters and boundaries of this as people will always challenge you. So if you are going sugar-free can you have fruit? Honey? What about milk and bread? What about snacks such as chips… let’s be honest… everything has some sense of sugar… Here you need to understand your plan and boundaries. The more detailed and structured you are – the more impact it will have on your result… but the key here is once you have the definition in place you need the discipline. (more on this in part 2)

To recap – definition is essentially your baseline, your blueprint and your guide in staying true to what you want to achieve. Remember it is your goal and your dream so if you set this definition up front and take the oath to yourself to achieve it, then you only have to impress one person. Yourself. Yes, you can share and gather support from others, but I can honestly say, they will try to pick up faults and errors on your behalf… why? Because I believe they are jealous that you are making a difference to your life and it is working. But do not worry about them. Focus on your mission, focus on your goal. You’ve got this. 

We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile. — Earl Nightingale

This is normal.

• We all want to know what our driving ambitions should be in life.
• We all want to have a certain life purpose.
• We all want to feel we’re on the right path.
• We all want to perfect our habits, our routines, our productivity.
• We all want to feel more certain, and perfect what we’re doing.

Let me let you in on a secret: no one is free from this struggle. Look at the most successful people you can think of — Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Obama, Taylor Swift. Do you think they have it all figured out? Do you think they have certainty and a feeling of reaching perfection? Not a chance. There is not one of us alive, not me or anyone else, whoever feels certainty about their purpose or path. If they do, they’re fooling themselves. But if they’re honest, they don’t feel that certainty.

No one ever feels they’ve found the perfect productivity routine, the perfect version of themselves … because it doesn’t exist.

You can’t know what the perfect path will be, you can’t know what the perfect you should be, you can’t know what your purpose in life is until it starts to uncover itself. You can’t know your destination until you get there. So instead of spinning your wheels with the unknowable, focus on what you actually have right in front of you.

“The heart is a muscle, and you strengthen muscles by using them. The more I lead with my heart, the stronger it gets.”  – Mark Miller

Most things in life don’t come easy. The sooner we understand this, the faster we’ll roll up our sleeves and get to work. Every single decision we make either propels us toward ours dreams or away from them. Put one foot in front of the other in pursuit of your dreams.

Likewise, we shouldn’t let pain get the final say in our lives. Instead, we should use it to motivate us: Push harder, rise higher, and loosen pain’s deadly grip.

Take a page from Taylor Swift and just “shake it off” and people who do so are more likely to reach their goals than people who dwell on their problems. Which is why resiliency, the ability to bounce back, adjust, and cope with life’s disappointments is key to success.

Aspire for greatness, and don’t settle for less.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” – Les Brown

It is all about when getting to the top of the mountain – keep climbing. As you rise to living your dream; every time you think you have reached the peak, you should decide to keep going, and you will see how things end up even better than you possibly could have imagined. Even once you get to what you think is the top – there is no actual upper limit to what can be done in this world and you need to take full advantage of that as you push your way forward.

No matter what you do – as long as you maintain your honor and integrity it’s pretty hard to screw up badly enough that you get sent back to square one. Or come tumbling down a hill. There may be rests and breaks required and maybe even some route changes or doubling back to find a better path. But remember to always keep pushing and know that with this key and all the previous 6, that you might just be able to do something great!

Never measure the height of a mountain until you reach the top. Then you will see how low it was. – Dag Hammerskjold

At times you may feel like you’ve hit a brick wall and you’re not going to get any bigger. Remember to take a look around and realize “Huh, I’ve been able to do a lot to achieve my dreams” and you have managed to come this far… so there is still more to this journey. There are plateaus in everything you do, that’s how life works and of course, there will be highs! The trick is to embrace those plateaus as quiet times in between the madness that so often defines the day to day life. If you’re not enjoying the ride why bother?

 “The chase is better than the catch!” – Lemmy Kilmister

The desire to succeed and the journey that goes with it can be crippling. You reach those moments where you feel like everyone is against you and won’t let you reach the next level and you start to suffer or that you have failed before you have even really started. But here’s the thing – if you keep going people will respect you. If they see that even in a tight spot you kept your cool and decided to plow forward and not give up and did so with a smile on your face then they will know that you’re the real deal. In a world where you’ve got to fake it until you make it,  you might as well enjoy the madness and adventure along the way. 

“Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” – Ernest Hemingway

Yes, everyone.

Remember to be kind and respectful to everyone. This doesn’t mean being weak – you should be able to set limits – but it does mean that you should always be willing to help people and guide them forward. It means that you shouldn’t call people out on social media and it means that you should be very cautious before putting out any sort of controversial opinion into the public sphere. 

You don’t even have to be politically correct. What I’m saying is that you want to be real, genuine, transparent and down to earth. The biggest one is being approachable. If people are too scared to chat to you then you have a problem.  Therefore, remember to be encouraging – give advice to people getting started and try to find mentors who also ascribe to this philosophy.

With this all in mind – When someone compliments you for anything – for your work, the way you did something, the way you said something or simply for the way you look, how do you react? Do you shrug it off and say ‘it was nothing’, ‘I am not sure why I was given this award’, I don’t deserve it’, ‘I just got lucky this time around’… all these are indicators of weakened confidence. Switch out that thinking and start accepting compliments graciously. When given a compliment learn to say thank you comfortably, thanking the person for recognizing your efforts and offering support. It is a display of belief in yourself which repeated consciously over a period of time begins to deeply seat itself in your mind leading to stronger levels of confidence.

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” – Gloria Naylor