Day #186: The Mindset Of The Mentally Strong

Life is determined ultimately by you and your mindset. Yes there are factors, variables and things we cannot control, but how we decide to react is on you.

What separates us from the pain of discipline or the pain of regret is our mindsets. Basically a fixed vs. growth mindset.

Ultimately: 

A fixed mindset:

Minimal effort and when things get tough, it is time to give up

A growth mindset:

Extra effort and when things get tough, it is time to step it up and push forward

mindset

As you can see above, there are some quite obvious differences between a fixed and growth mindset.

You must always remember:

Intelligence is not static. Maybe you have certain traits, talents and skills that have always come more easily than others, but you can always learn more and continue to grow in which ever direction you please.

We can always become more intelligent, rather than appearing more intelligent.

EMBRACE CHALLENGES

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ― Helen Keller

Even if you are falling flat on your face, you are still moving forward. That itself is embracing the challenge, even if you don’t succeed at first, you are giving it all you have got, with the intention and courage to climb to a higher ground.

PERSIST THROUGH OBSTACLES

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill

Obstacles are tricky. They are meant to be that way. They are meant to stretch you, challenge you and push you out of your comfort zone. As these come, look at them as a test to really determine how much you really want your end result/reward. Sometimes a good obstacle will allow us to stop and think of what we are doing and how we should be doing it. As these thoughts and questions come, if you answer them strongly, you wont give up. In my opinion the euphoria of your rewards will always outweigh the pain of an obstacle.

PUT IN THE EFFORT

“The only place success comes before work is the dictionary” – Vince Lombardi

Today’s society is full of instant gratification which has started to wash away the importance and value of hard work. These days, it will take an incredible heart and determination to push through the pain of discipline. However, once you do, seeing the rewards reaped can become as addictive as alcohol or even drugs. We tend to get a natural high, however this leaves us with a much clearer and healthier perspective.

ACCEPT CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

“To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing” – Aristotle

Criticism is easy to ignore, especially when it is hurting our (yes I said it) egos… It kills our sense of pride, so we tend to shove it under a rug and walk away. However, avoiding it will keep you static. Take feedback, understand it and apply it and keep moving forward. Let go of the ego (as hard as it can be) and this will be one of the best things you can ever embrace.

BE INSPIRED BY THE SUCCESS OF OTHERS

Seeing those around us moving and shaking and changing the world can be the best kind of inspiration. Yes we can tend to become overwhelmed and even jealous by it… But if you can learn to harness this influence, learn to applaud the success of others, as much as if it was your own, these will become an inspiration rather that a pressure or some kind of weight holding you down. You need to remember, your time will come if you keep your heart in the game and focused.

There you have it, the  5 Mindsets of the Mentally Strong. The question I have for you is; what will you do about it?

Fixed or Growth?

Day #185: What Happened To Taking Action

Until you take tangible action, not much is going happen. Action is the key part in any movement.

Are you ready for change? No? Well it is time to get use to it. 

Are you ready for opportunity? Maybe? Well it is time to be ready for it.

Are you ready for something new? No? Well you need to be.

Everyday we wake up, we do what we do, or don’t do what we should do and we make a split second decision to either EMBRACE today or simply SOOK about it. 

But then there is the excuse that… my life is tough, everything is falling to pieces… everything is breaking. Well you know what! Get down on the floor and start picking these pieces up. Start pulling your weight. Start lifting yourself up. Life will always be tough. It isn’t easy for those who seem to have it altogether, but they are EMBRACING IT, They are TAKING OPPORTUNITY. They are open to CHANGE. They are ready for the NEW.

Pull yourself together. If you want something or wish you could be something, do or have something, then you need to stop doing nothing about it and get out there and find it. Get out there and start making noise and progress…

Have you ever thought: 

When we are in a particular situation, we take lots of irrelevant factors into account. But when we’re external to it, we sometimes look at things more objectively. – Unknown

The problem is…

We hesitate to look inward to find solutions for a problem, two major things happen: one, we don’t hold ourselves responsible for solving the problem, which makes the problem last longer; and two, we don’t take any of our own advice to solve said problem, mainly because we haven’t consulted ourselves at all.

If you gave yourself the same tough love that you’d give someone else, perhaps you’ll solve your problems faster than you think — and perhaps you’ll realize that, yes, the solution really is that simple.

Get out there, take action and take control of the moment. Take control of today. 

Embrace it. Live it. Breathe it.

Day #184: Every Little Step Counts Towards A Greater You

If everyday you do 1 little thing, or take one step which scared you, imagine your growth over a period of 6 months or even a year. It would be exponential! A few months back I wrote a blog about stepping it up 1% each day for 365 days (read it here). It all starts with the something small, but even if that one small thing seems impossible at the time, you are still conquering your fear. Step by step, they will all add up. 

Setting yourself a daily quota to do something will enable you to more likely stay dedicated. Examples:

  • “Do 20 math exercises a day”
  • “Read a textbook chapter a day”
  • “Write 500 words a day”

Or if it was something that scared you:

  • Talking to one new person each day
  • Asking for a discount whenever you make a purchase 
  • Telling someone new each day that they look beautiful

Make this a priority for each day for 365 days. Or even for the next 6 months.  Then you need to just evaluate what this can do for you. Remember make sure you pick something realistic.

I say keep it smaller to enable consistency.

My question to you is… what are you going to do about pushing, challenging and training yourself to further stretch and grow? Put it this way… As I have blogged before, if you increment by 1 each day for 365 days. By the end of the year you have done 66,795 push ups in a year. Now that seems quite intense.. But how about pushing yourself just to the end of the year.

Think of it like investing your dollars. The more you put in over time the more it grows in the long run.

What will you do to push yourself?

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. – Winnie the pooh

Day #183: Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life

Yesterday we hit the mid way point of the year. Which makes today the first day of the rest of your life. Well each day is that day, but going into each day with this attitude can kick-start you into an active mindset.

I SAY START TODAY!

So today you have 5 months, 4 weeks and 1 days remaining. [Plus one more day being a leap year]

  • 26 weeks
  • 182 days
  • 4,368 hours
  • 26,2080 minutes
  • 15,724,800 seconds

Yesterday we touched on some of the smaller details, which alone seem like nothing, but together through consistency they stand out and actually make quite the impact to your life.

I gave some examples yesterday of what you can apply daily, however I have some more small changes you can make that can completely transform your life…

Daily:

  • Read 10 pages of a good book (15 minutes)
  • Listen to 30 minutes of an instructional CD
  • Eat 125 calories less each day then you normally eat
  • Drink two bottles of water a day
  • Walk 2,000 steps a day, roughly 1.6 kms
  • Make date night with your significant other a priority

Now for no reason at all, lets ask ourselves where would we be in 27 months… (6 months)

  • Read 47 books (7 books)
  • Listened to 465 hours of audio on success and improvement (69 hours)
  • Saved 117,500 calories = lost 15.2 kgs. (17,407 calories, 2.25 kgs)
  • Drank 3,720 gallons of water (551 gallons)
  • Walked 1448 kms = an additional 13.6 kgs lost (170 kms, 2 kgs)
  • Had 124 dates with your partners = a better relationship (at least 18 dates)

Now these may seem like a lot or not a lot at all, but these are only examples. Imagine if you add your finances, your actual time spent in gym and other areas of your life. These things start to add up quickly over time, and in the short-term things might not seem like they are progressing, but the routine of consistency will IMPACT you more so in the long-term.

I want to leave you with this thought the next time you think success isn’t within reach: consider implementing these small steps, they will leave you living the life of your dreams.

“He who refuses to embrace a unique opportunity loses the prize as surely as if he had failed.” William James.

Day #182: You’ve Come So Far!

WELL DONE!

You have come this far, don’t stop now! By the end of today you will have made it halfway through the year. For those on the journey to outlast your resolution to the end and are still on target, my hat goes off to you! You deserve a gold star and a quick reminder that you have conquered the first mountain! By now you should have learned the different meanings of self-control, persistence, goal setting, overcoming fear, success, perspective and of course a new feeling of joy! Keep at it, as the next half is going to be a challenge too!

For those still struggling or haven’t started. It is not too late to begin. And today’s message is for you. At the start of the year, you may have set out to do wonders, to conquer this or that. Maybe you started strong but have lost the plot, maybe you didn’t start at all. Regardless, it would seem you still have a bit to go. 

So I ask you this. How much do you want it? What is it you even want? If you could still do one thing before then end of the year, what would it be? Maybe you have multiple things? There is nothing stopping you to start today. It’s not too late to give it all you got and see the wonder you can do for the next 6 months. So will you?

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. – Mark Twain

No one wants to take a risk and fail. We all have an instinct to wait until something is a sure thing before taking the leap. However, that hesitancy can lead to missing out. Instead, we take the risk once you’re sure you have a decent chance of succeeding. I believe you have a chance today to take a risk and to start working, moving and pushing towards your goal.

Let me put some smaller details in to perspective for you…

Starting today you have 5 months, 4 weeks and 2 days remaining. [Being a leap year there is a day more]

  • 26 weeks
  • 183 days
  • 4,392 hours
  • 26,3520 minutes
  • 15,811,200 seconds

Put some effort in and you could:

  • Save an extra $50 or even $100 a week. That is $1,300 or $2,600 by the end of the year. Holiday? New down payment for a car?
  • Stop those bad habits… stop buying coffee through the week and you could save another $520 by the end of the year.
  • Start tonight doing 1 push up. Adding 1 more each day till the end of the year. NYE you will be doing 183 push ups! You can do this for any exercise.
  • Burn 150 calories a night which would equate to nearly 8kgs lost by the end of the year. Imagine 300 calories… or even 500!
  • Read a chapter a day (2500 words). With an average book being 18 chapters, you will smash out nearly 10 whole books!
  • Start running, targeting 5/10/20km a week and see that by the end of it you will have run 130/260/520km. That’s quite a few marathons!
The point is… JUST START and see what you can do, The  little progress will become GREATER in the end, as long as you stay committed. This is your chance! Will you take it?

Day #181: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

If you’re stuck on yesterday… today or tomorrow is always going to be distant. Because what is done is done. You may be able to fix it, but there is no changing it. If you want the change, then you need to take action. And the best way to take action and control of yesterday is by making the right decisions today and tomorrow.

Three simple rules in life:

  1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
  2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
  3. If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

“BE MISERABLE. OR MOTIVATE YOURSELF. WHATEVER HAS TO BE DONE, IT’S ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE.” – WAYNE DYER

Goals are what we reach for. Standards are where we stand.
How much easier would it be to touch the sky if you were standing on skyscraper then the sidewalk?
I recommend you raise your standards to the level of the individuals you look up to (ironic). As an example you can ask yourself some questions, in reflection to the people who have inspired you:

  1. How did Steve Jobs spend his time?
  2. What type of environment did Steve surround himself around every day?
  3. What type of attitude did he have?
  4. How did Steve spend his money?

This helps your mind, relate, understand and formulate an answer for you.

Once you answer those questions. You’ll have a picture of your future self. Who YOU will be. But remember YOU ARE NOT the person who inspired you. You should be someone who is of individuality and who inspires on their own.

Day #180: Thinking Positive

Once again I remind you that you should be constantly striving to see the positive in every aspect of your life and it all starts with a bright and optimistic morning. You can and should be doing this. No, things will not always go as planned, things won’t be necessarily the best, but you can make new plans and you can make the best of the moment.

So what do you need to do to train your self to be positive everyday. Well here are 5 steps to becoming more positive today.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~Winston Churchill

Step One: Believe a Positive Attitude is a Choice

The hardest of them all, is to actually make the choice to have a positive attitude. As life is going to throw some things your way, and for sure they ain’t all going to be the best.  But with the right attitude, you can make the best of everything.

Step Two: Rid Your Life of Negativity

If you want to live a positive, joyful life, you cannot be surrounded by negative people who don’t encourage your happiness. Sacrifices will need to be made.  It can hurt to distance yourself from people—even when you know they aren’t good for you or your current lifestyle. Also check out the negative behaviors

Step Three: Look For the Positive in Life

In every person, in every situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not obvious. We have to look. And sometimes we have to look hard. Everything—good and bad—is a learning experience so, at the very least, you can learn from bad experiences. You will usually find something good, something genuinely positive, about every person or situation.

Step Four: Reinforce Positivity in Yourself

Be honest with yourself, but do your best to look for the good. And, whatever you do, don’t focus on the negative. It’s okay to not like everything about yourself, but don’t focus on what you don’t like. We all have positive attributes, and it’s up to you to remind yourself of them every day.

Step Five: Share Positivity with Others

You have to share your wealth of positivity with the world. People appreciate positivity, and the more you share it with others, the more you are practicing it your own life.

Day #179: Someone Is You!

What if I told you there was someone who could get you to where you want to go?

They would help you succeed, they would give you daily motivation and of course, they would inspire and encourage your own self-control.

Interested?

Yes? Awesome!

Take a look in the mirror. That person is you.

The only person they will get you from A to B is yourself.
The only person that will that can truly motivate you, is you.
The only person that can give you self-control is you.

Not sure how? Ask your self: “How determined am I to see this through?”

If you are determined. Then you will make it happen!

So what will you do? Where will you go? How will you do it?

It all begins with YOU!

Let no one discourage your ambitious attitude, you don’t need a fan club to achieve your goals, be your own motivation – Unknown

I have a challenge/exercise for your today.

It is a visualization exercise to maximize your persistence.

You can complete this exercise without pen and paper, but it’s much better to do it with pen and paper, as it will solidify the visualization.

  1. Imagine yourself five years from now if you have persisted with your current goals. How old will you be? What will your life be like? Are you happy and fulfilled?
  2. Imagine yourself ten years from now if you have persisted with your current goals. How old will you be? What will your life be like? How much more progress have you made? Are you happy and fulfilled?
  3. Imagine yourself twenty years from now if you have persisted with your current goals. How old will you be? What will your life be like? How great does it feel to have stuck it out this far? How happy and fulfilled are you?

Now it’s time to do the exact opposite.

  1. Imagine yourself five years from now if you have not persisted with your current goals. How old will you be? What will your life be like? What job will you be working? Are you happy and fulfilled?
  2. Imagine yourself ten years from now if you have not persisted with your current goals. How old will you be? What will your life be like? Are you starting to feel regret? How happy and fulfilled are you?
  3. Imagine yourself twenty years from now if you have not persisted with your current goals. How old will you be? What will your life be like? Take yourself through an average day. How much regret do you have? How poorly do you feel?

Day #178: Consistently Realistic

When it comes to keeping active and healthy, exercise is obviously an important key. But the real key is consistency and being realistic. For some this requires some hard motivation and a push to get out there, while for others, they cannot get out there quick enough. Like any habit, goal and journey, it takes time to see the results and to see how far you have progressed. Depending on contributing factors, the time will vary and so will the intensity of the progress.

There are many ways to stay committed, to stay motivated, to see it through to the finish line and this is for any good habit, goal or routine. However, the real key may be as simple as  ‘keep on keeping on’. As long as you’re doing, then you are progressing and as long as you are consistently realistic. 

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes… but no plans. – Peter Drucker

See below on some ways you can keep on keeping on:

Force yourself to actually do something

If you can just get yourself doing something related to your goal each day, even if it is small, you’re already ahead of the game. If you do it in the morning, at the crack of dawn, even better as you will have fewer interruptions. But doing something, rather than nothing is still progress.

Extreme – Yes or No?

Whatever your new goal is, you have a choice to attack it slow and steady, which is still reliable. Or you can hit the nail on the head and jump in cold turkey. The difference? Going slow and steady will set up a consistency, which just may require the results to actually become tangible a little slower. Jumping in cold turkey, may be extreme, it may be harder, but it will not only have you smashing out our goals quicker, but it will be training your mind and willpower to overcome. As long as you are making progress and your are content with it. Either will do. This will also depend on the type of goal you are doing.

Track it

You constantly scroll through your Instagram feed, so why not download one more app? It will always motivate you when you can actually see the progress and with all the tracking apps out there, you can do this for your goal in some real fun and exciting ways. If you are a gamer, and struggle to exercise? Try this one: HabitRPG | Your Life the Role Playing Game

Find some passion while you do it

When you’re actually working on your goal, find a way to do it that you enjoy doing. Let’s say you’re trying to lose 10kg and you have never exercised, or had a routine to keep you honest. This is the perfect chance to do a workout that you find fun. You could swim, box, run, walk, go intense or slow it down with yoga… There are so many options, there will always be one for you. This is the same for other goals. 

Educate yourself

Knowledge is power, people. Just don’t try to impart your wisdom on those who didn’t ask for it. If you’re going to be doing and trying new things to get this goal over the line, you may as well educate yourself. As once you succeed, I can assure you, you will have others looking to you for the secrets of success and when you have the knowledge to share, this can benefit you quite well!

Apply it to your life

What’s that? You don’t have time to focus in your goal? Well firstly, that’s a joke as where is your priorities? However, I can understand we all have busy lives and the best way to ensure you are doing something for your goals each day, is to embed your efforts, within your daily do. Trying to hit those 10,000 steps each day? How about skip the subway and walk? Want to read a book a week? Read while you commute. These are some simple and very basic examples, but that’s all it needs to be. Think of it like killing two birds with one stone.

Own it and take charge

The key to sticking to your goals, is owning them and taking charge of your plans. There will be sacrifice and make it clear that when you are working on your goal, this is your time. If people ask if you are busy, YES YOU ARE BUSY. You have something on. Your goal working time! I’m sure some people will find it silly, or say you can do that anytime. Well that’s not true. You have dedicated this time as this is the time you can do it. So be strong, stand tall when it comes to staying on top of goal progress. As it only takes a couple of times skipping your usual goal working session and you will be back sliding… and all that PROGRESS will start to decompose. It is your choice. Own it!

Day #177: You’re Valuable!

Knowing you are valuable is stance of confidence. Self value, the very core of an individual. Over the years, society has lowered the expectation of self value, and in some cases you can see clearly it has disappeared, almost like it has been forgotten. It has become lost in today’s society. However, there is still hope. You have the power to control you, and you should stand tall and not be dictated by what people think of you. You should own up to being you, live being you and embrace the person you are. Learn to love your strengths and weaknesses and understand how you can leverage these everyday.

You are worth so much more than you could ever imagine! You just need to realize it! You need to claim it, own it and take it wherever you go.

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ”– M. Scott Peck

Maybe you have problems identifying who you are? Maybe you need to ask yourself some questions?

  • Who are you?
  • What motivates you?
  • What saddens you?
  • Why are you driven by one thing but not another thing?
  • Why do you feel upset in one situation and not in another situation?
  • What are your values and beliefs?
  • Where did they come from?

Do these questions challenge you? Prompt you?

Take a pen, write these down. Answer them. Elaborate on them. Understand who you are and what makes you tick.