Day #300: How We Limit Ourselves Without Realising

Do you limit yourself, or are you limitless? It is natural for us to have a strong natural tendency to stay in the safe end of the pool and find ways to ignore anything that might challenge us in any way. Basically… we like to make excuses. We allow circumstances and our belief that we have no choices be our guide instead.  Forgetting that we can create happiness as much as we can create misery seems to become a way of life.  Stepping away from what we have been taught and allowing ourselves to make our own path doesn’t even seem to cross the minds of too many of us anymore.

Here are some ways we begin to limit ourselves and we don’t even realize it:

  • We go looking for failure.

  • We follow the crowd.

  • We play it safe.

  • We lack hope.  

  • We stop listening to our hearts.

  • We quit.

  • We forget our “why.”

No matter our background, our education level, or our when we get started, holding ourselves back is a disservice to the rest of the world.  Our natural-born talents go untapped, un-shared, and hidden.  No one assigns our limits to us, we assign them to ourselves.  And in doing so, we can also reassign them.  Doing something out of the norm and unorthodox might upset the apple cart and many people will not understand your motives, believing that they are built on false pretenses.  True limits continue to grow after they have been met…as long as we don’t hold ourselves back from reaching our full potential.

Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve. – Mary Kay Ash

Day #299: What Does Success Look Like?

Everyone has a different definition of success and it is important to identify your own personal definition of success in life. Whether your goal is to enrich the lives of others,  open a successful business or establish a clear goal of what you’d like to accomplish in order to feel successful. In order to lead the life that you desire, you must set your own goals and idea of success according to what you want — not what television or your parents want. This is all about you, your life, and idea of success.

Ask yourself: “What does success look like?”

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” – Booker T. Washington

Does success mean making lot of money, having a big house and a flashy car or does it mean happiness, excellent health and bringing beauty into the world? While you’re at it, you might also want to visualize the entire scene of your successful future, where you are, who is with you, what are you doing and even how are you are feeling.

Ask yourself again… What is a success to you? Is it getting up in the mornings and getting to the gym? Is it the To-Do list that you set out for yourself the day before? The purpose of defining your own success is to start living a life based on your own expectations and terms. The actions that bring you joy, a sense of accomplishment, service, and progress are where you should be investing your energy.

Regardless… if you want to be successful – Stop wasting your energy on what other people may think, or do or say, and start putting energy towards furthering yourself. You need every ounce of positive energy, encouragement, and self-esteem working for you and you alone if you want to be successful. Say no to the naysayers…even better, just ignore them and go on about your business.

The path to success usually isn’t a straight line. This is the risk. Expect to face obstacles and accept that you may fail several times along the way. The way you recover from failures will speak to your character and your ability to reach your goals. When one thing isn’t working, be willing to try something new until you succeed.

“Define success on your own term, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.” – Anne Sweeney

Day #298: You Are The Controller – Now Take Control

The only person who is going to make take control, be the controller and make your day ultimately the best day it can be – is essentially you. No pressure aye?

But seriously. Today is another Monday, another start of a week, another chance, another opportunity, another day in which you can decide to be positive or be negative. You may have a busy day or a day which isn’t even planned out. Regardless – how the day flows, rolls and progress are primarily based on your attitude and reaction to the events throughout the day. You are in control.

In saying all this, it is a segway to something greater. Something more and something which you need to think about. Like I said; you have a chance to own the day and make it what it is. You have this same chance for your life obviously, and the more you start doing, the more you start acting in control and the more you start proactively taking responsibility, the sooner you will find the success, the answers and the happiness you are looking and longing for.

There is no shortcut in your journey to whatever/wherever it is you are going – the only advantage you can have is stepping up and being accountable for your responsibility. It’s great that you are good at what you do! But could you be better? Could you be greater? If so and if you want it – why not go for it. Don’t make excuses that the timing is wrong, that you don’t have what it takes. If you want it – prioritize it and make it your mission. This is for anything you want to achieve. If you don’t start putting in the time – well there will be no time left and the time you have spent will be the time in which you may regret and never get back. So make the most of the time and moments you have, as one day you will wake up and you will ask yourself… why didn’t I start earlier? Why didn’t I do this or do that? Don’t wait until that moment to motivate yourself but teach yourself to be motivated now. Yes it will be tough, yes it will be hard – but in the long run, you will have it easier and better for you and the people in your life. It is a small sacrifice well worth its return.

So…

What will you do today?

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” – Les Brown

Day #297: Priorities – Know Whats Important To You

Your priorities are yours. Don’t let the people around you decide or define for your life. We all have different ambitions. We all have different lifestyles. We all fail and we will all succeed. But just because one person is doing it differently to another, or is further down the path or still catching up… This does not give you the right to challenge or critique their journey. If they are already giving it all they have got, if they are out there to impress, out there to stand up for what they believe in – you have no right to interfere.

Don’t get me wrong. A challenge is good. It’s good for everyone to be challenged, but don’t challenge one’s ability to succeed, if they are already doing their best. Encouragement is the answer. Whether they are new or noble – success and lifestyle are not created overnight and through the journey, there are so many obstacles and paths to be taken that things will need to be sacrificed, things will need to be put on hold and things will need to be prioritized over others. If this impacts other people… well so be it.

As at the end of the day – we all have different ambitions and we all have different priorities. So don’t suggest that because you don’t do X then you must be Y. But encourage and support and understand.  If they are however practicing in something which is harming, hurting, immoral or of wrongful ways – well yes they need to be challenged. But do not judge someone based on their priorities. Priorities will always change through the seasons of life.

If you have a priority to clean up your life, or get focused or embedded into a future path to your success. Then so be it. 

I learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything… at least not at the same time. So think of your priorities not in terms of what activities you do, but when you do them. Timing is everything. – Dan Millman

Day #296: Value Yourself Enough To Make Your Happiness Clear

Do you value your happiness? Happiness isn’t based on the amount of dollars you have, the wheels that get you from A to B or the size of the house you live in. Happiness is based on the reflection of your personal values. Yes, money is great and will make you feel happy for a time, but nothing beats your self-confidence, your appreciation of who you are and what you can do, affirmation of your skills and talents as well as when others give you attention or ask you for advice. Value yourself and you will be happy!

At each moment of the day, you make a decision, whether you realize it or not. It’s the result of your attitude towards life. And whatever it is—positive or negative—it affects all the events, people, relationships, and basically whatever it is that you encounter in your life.

So, if you’re living a complicated life with so many things to do and no time for yourself, it’s your fault.

If you have exactly what you’ve wanted and are thankful for it every day, you’re the one to blame.

If you’re surrounded by negative people, have a job you hate and can’t even sleep at night because of the many thoughts that pop up in your head constantly, no one else is responsible for that but you.
If you’re doing what you love, work hard but still find time for yourself and those you love, it’s due to a choice you’ve made at some point.

But there’s good news. Whatever your situation is, you can change it.

Happiness is absolutely possible at any time, it’s free, doesn’t depend on age, looks, career or income. Everyone deserves it and it doesn’t need to be found, reached, created, or anything else that requires an effort.

Three best things you can do with your life—let go of what was and will be, accept what is and be okay with it, thank for it and appreciate it.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” – Frederick Keonig

Day #295: Setting Expectations Just Right…

The people around you will always let you down. Why? Because you are the only one who will truly ever understand your expectations – and no one will ever compare to them since we are all individually unique. But that is OK. We can’t go through life expecting everyone around us to keep up, especially if we are trying to fly ahead. This does not mean people will not be able to keep up and that you should not let them try. You should just set the expectation to yourself that people won’t always make you happy and neither will you to them. (it is a two-way street).

Set your own life rules, set your boundaries, set your limits and live up to these. If you set your expectations, your limits and capabilities with others before they set their own – then you should always make them happy as you know how to meet this level. Further to this; you shouldn’t be comparing your life to others either. The only way you’ll get where you want to be is if you live life on your own terms. And you can start by:

Staying out of other people’s business

Staying away from toxic people

Using your gifts to your advantage

Not working for external rewards

Letting your work speak for you

Not holding yourself back

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. – Bruce Lee

Day #294: 3 Simple, Yet Big Packing Actions To Change Your Life (Part 3) – Action

It all comes down to how much you want it. How much you want to make the change, make the difference and make the impact to yourself big enough to reflect on to others. Yes, I am talking about your self-commitment to achieving your goals – or the goals you think you want, or dream of. But there is no point dreaming if you’re not going to be willing to get up, get out there and put in the hard work. Otherwise, dreaming is essentially like saying you’re not single anymore because you’re going on a coffee date with someone. Well, do I have news for you – that is not how it works. If you want to make something happen you need to apply 3 simple, yet big packing actions to your life and  I guarantee you will see results.

To set some context – I am essentially talking about lifestyle changes and personal dreams. This may be exercise, fitness, health, budgets, careers, your everyday life, routine, habits and so on. 

So what are these 3 simple yet big packing actions? Over the next few days I will be sharing on:

Definition, Discipline and Actual Action

Today I will be talking to you about point 3: Actual Action.

Actual Action

It all comes down to choice. Your dedication to actually take action is defined through your choice – but also the reasoning of why you choose to take action. In most cases, it will be because you want to change.

Being successful is not a necessity but a choice. Most of the things that frustrate us and irritate us are completely self-inflicted. They are standards and goals we set for ourselves and if we don’t achieve them we are disappointed, upset and annoyed!

So, instead of saying things like “I have to finish this work” or “I need to write one chapter of my book before I can go have fun” change it to “I want.” When you empower yourself to make your own choices these jobs and tasks become easier. Here are some examples:

“I want to finish this work before I relax with the family because I know I can then devote my time and attention to them afterward.”

“I want to write one chapter of my book because I enjoy writing and I will be happy if I achieve this.”

While at the same time it comes down to accountability.

Why is it we value other people’s opinion of us more than we value our own?

We let ourselves down regularly but are reluctant to let others down. If you want to take action tell somebody about it, tell someone you respect what you are going to do and ask them to check up on you. At the same time, it can do no harm to try to respect yourself more and deliver on your personal commitments. I have found that proving to myself and being accountable to myself to prove everyone else that I have what it takes, works better than simply telling people I will be better.

 “Action is the foundational key to all success.” – Pablo Picasso

Day #293: 3 Simple, Yet Big Packing Actions To Change Your Life (Part 2) – Discipline

It all comes down to how much you want it. How much you want to make the change, make the difference and make the impact to yourself big enough to reflect on to others. Yes, I am talking about yourself commitment to achieving your goals – or the goals you think you want, or dream of. But there is no point dreaming if you’re not going to be willing to get up, get out there and put in the hard work. Otherwise, dreaming is essentially like saying you’re not single anymore because you’re going on a coffee date with someone. Well, do I have news for you – that is not how it works. If you want to make something happen you need to apply 3 simple, yet big packing actions to your life and  I guarantee you will see results.

To set some context – I am essentially talking about lifestyle changes and personal dreams. This may be exercise, fitness, health, budgets, careers, your everyday life, routine, habits and so on. 

So what are these 3 simple yet big packing actions? Over the next few days I will be sharing on:

Definition, Discipline and Actual Action

Today I will be talking to you about point 2: Discipline.

Discipline

Discipline is what is required to be in place for actually getting your defined change in place. Good self-discipline will encourage and be formed under a framework of routine, structure, and dedication throughout your daily life to enable you to ensure you are doing what you have set out to do. But it is also more than this. It requires willpower and the power to conquer your mindsets to keep on keeping on regardless of the circumstances. As you progress into your change… it will get harder to control your mind, while at the same time it should also get easier as you form a habit and a routine structure in making your change a normal part of your life.

If you haven’t been able to implement ideas in real life on a small-scale, then the chances that you can do something big this week, such as kick a ten-year smoking habit, are pretty small. It can and has been done, but good luck trying. There are exceptions to every rule.

This is where the comparison of self-discipline to the use of a muscle is important, because if you keep trying to tackle the big problems in your life from the get-go, you set yourself up to fail again and again. The more you fail on the big things, the more motivation you lose and the more it looks like the problems are too big to be beaten.

Start developing your self-discipline skills by conquering small problems; if you find yourself drinking excessively and want to handle it, then start your first drink after everyone else has finished their first couple of rounds. It’s a small change, but your success will set you up to succeed in the next stage, which may be cutting out one night of drinking per weekend altogether.

Gradually, the strength of your self-discipline increases and the greater your success will be in tackling problems and implementing new changes.

If you want to create a habit rather than defeat it, it’s a very similar process. For instance, if you find yourself constantly unable to maintain a new email processing system, start by making an end-of-week appointment every week that you force yourself to keep. Process all your messages and clear out your inbox during that session, and continue this until it is second nature. You can then trial it on a more regular basis.

Don’t start out expecting unused muscles to be strong.

Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do. Simply, self-discipline enables you to think first and act afterward. – Napoleon Hill

Day #292: You Still Have Time To Conquer The Year

Just stop and pause for a moment. It is time to conquer. Take a breath and know that today you have entered the 80% mark of the year. Yep – you have 74 days left and how you spend and utilize these are entirely up to you. What will you conquer?

I suggest buckling down and finishing up any of the goals you have been working on, while at the same time if you’re already on track, how about go the extra mile. What about extended goals? Push that little further and do better than you planned…

Maybe you didn’t do any goals… that’s OK as you can still move some mountains in the next 74 days and see some exceptional results. Once again, it comes down to how much you want it! Do you want it bad enough to stop being lazy and to take action in making a difference in your life? 74 days could be enough days to get you somewhere you could have never dreamed of being… or at least thought was possible.

Will you take the challenge? Will you dare to make a change, an impact or a new goal to accomplish by the end of the year?

Trust me. It is worth your while.

My father used to say that it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, ‘You never know what you can accomplish until you try.’ – Michael Jordan

Day #291: 3 Simple, Yet Big Packing Actions To Change Your Life (Part 1)

It all comes down to how much you want it. How much you want to make the change, make the difference and make the impact to yourself big enough to reflect on to others. Yes, I am talking about yourself commitment to achieving your goals – or the goals you think you want, or dream of. But there is no point dreaming if you’re not going to be willing to get up, get out there and put in the hard work. Otherwise, dreaming is essentially like saying you’re not single anymore because you’re going on a coffee date with someone. Well, do I have news for you – that is not how it works. If you want to make something happen you need to apply 3 simple, yet big packing actions to your life and  I guarantee you will see results.

To set some context – I am essentially talking about lifestyle changes and personal dreams. This may be exercise, fitness, health, budgets, careers, your everyday life, routine, habits and so on. 

So what are these 3 simple yet big packing actions? Over the next few days I will be sharing on:

Definition, Discipline and Actual Action

Today I will be talking to you about point 1: Definition.

Definition

Well if you have even made it this far in reading the blog I am guessing you already have a dream in mind. Maybe you have already kicked off the journey to actuating your dream into something tangible? Or maybe you have something which has been on your mind… Regardless, before you can really kick off your change in lifestyle you need to really understand what you want and this comes through defining what it is. Let’s start small… the biggest and probably the most common lifestyle change would be getting fit or losing weight. So how do you define this? Well, firstly you need to define it enough to know that you are serious about it in the first place and that this and not just another person saying “yep I am going to lose some weight too”. If you are serious – this definition of you losing weight will lead to the discipline and essentially the action you do to make it happen.

For example…

If you are overweight and you want to lose weight – but you don’t have a goal of how much you need to lose, that is fine. I would focus on actually starting in the first place but understanding how you plan to do it. The common one today is a sugar-free approach (as seen in ‘That Sugar Film‘). So when defining this you are saying I will be on a sugar-free diet. But you must understand the parameters and boundaries of this as people will always challenge you. So if you are going sugar-free can you have fruit? Honey? What about milk and bread? What about snacks such as chips… let’s be honest… everything has some sense of sugar… Here you need to understand your plan and boundaries. The more detailed and structured you are – the more impact it will have on your result… but the key here is once you have the definition in place you need the discipline. (more on this in part 2)

To recap – definition is essentially your baseline, your blueprint and your guide in staying true to what you want to achieve. Remember it is your goal and your dream so if you set this definition up front and take the oath to yourself to achieve it, then you only have to impress one person. Yourself. Yes, you can share and gather support from others, but I can honestly say, they will try to pick up faults and errors on your behalf… why? Because I believe they are jealous that you are making a difference to your life and it is working. But do not worry about them. Focus on your mission, focus on your goal. You’ve got this. 

We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile. — Earl Nightingale

Author and motivational speaker Nightingale’s quote sums up meaning, which is what you need to make this goal happen through definition. I can guarantee you will be happy as you start to see some results. Sure, there will be days that are long and challenging, but when you’re devoted to something you believe in, the meaning defines the effort and the journey becomes wonderful.